My mom used to tell me that all kids are different and develop at their own pace and that by the time they were in college they were all potty-trained and using forks.  Well, this time mother wasn't right.  I am the mother of an autistic little boy named Jordan and his development has taught me a thing or two about how kids really grow. Autism is a complex developmental disability that affects the functioning of the brain.  That's the polite definition that the doctors give you.  Here's my definition:  Autism is an incredibly confounding, constantly changing, never typical, mysterious way of life (sounds a little like marriage, only much more complicated).  All of the baby books that I'd read and practically memorized when my daughter was born went into a symbolic bonfire when my son arrived 4 years later.  He didn't talk on time.  He didn't get out of diapers on time.  He didn't do much of anything on time and I figured that, coupled with his snarky disposition, was just my gene pool.  The developmental charts mocked his progress and were a constant reminder that he was "different". Different.  Seems like such an innocent label - but the world doesn't take kindly to "different".  I discovered that the hard way. When I was single, I used to listen to little kids banging their spoon on the table and think, "Good grief, don't those parents HEAR that?" Well, when my daughter was a toddler I'm happy to say that there apparently is a biological shutdown in the ability to hear your own child's disruptive behavior.  And, as a result, you also lose the ability to see the expressions on the faces of the other patrons.  It was quite a parental sanity saver really. Once an autistic child is born into a family, the exact opposite happens.  Every fiber of your being is suddenly painfully aware of your child's strange and "different" behavior.  Autistic kids do not like change or disruptions to their daily patterns.  Their brains are hyper-wired for structure and order and the world is a very, very unorderly place.  The average mother bear doesn't always go to the same store at the same time, the same way, the same aisles every single shopping trip.  Try explaining that to a non-verbal autistic 5 year old.  Even worse, try explaining the whole situation to the other 250 or so people in the store who are witnessing your child's complete breakdown over the change in his routine.  Of course, you'd have to explain very LOUDLY over the incredible screaming that your 5 year old is now doing.  Chances are you won't have much luck, because now you're also crying and having difficulty breathing and the woman 3 carts in front of you with the neurologically typical children tells the checker that your kid is just a spoiled brat and probably needs a good spanking.  4 aisles and 7 carts away there is a man who can only hear all of this hubbub and is now cussing you out wondering why you won't just leave.  All of the combined cacophony leaves the autistic child even more upset, confused and frightened and increases his tantrum level, which you didn't think was possible.  Do you now leave your full cart in the store and head for the hills?  How will the shopping ever get done now?  How do you face going back out in this relatively small community of Santa Clarita where people now recognize you, see you coming and stare at you with disdain even before the tantrums begin? How will you find the strength to get up tomorrow and do this all over again, starting with the unimaginable pain of just brushing your teeth? The autistic child doesn't have a flashing red light over his head that announces to the world that he's autistic.  In fact, he's just another beautiful looking child, much like yours.  What he does have is behavior problems.  People with autism typically have difficulties in verbal and non-verbal communication and social interactions.  It makes it hard for them to relate to the rest of the world.  Sometimes they display aggressive or self-injurious behavior.  They often exhibit repeated body movements like hand-flapping or rocking.  Often autistic people have unusual responses to people or attachments.  Almost all autistic people have increased sensitivities in the five senses of sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste. Over one half million people in the United States today have autism or some form of pervasive developmental disorder.  This statistic makes autism one of the most common developmental disabilities.  Even so, most of the public -- including many professionals in the medical, educational and vocational fields - are still unaware of how autism affects people and how they can effectively work with individuals with autism. Early in childhood, one of the virtues most parents try to instill in their children is tolerance of their fellow man.  It is my hope, that more people will continue adding to their original List of People to Tolerate and include people who are different.  Try to develop a little compassion and understanding for individuals who think and color outside of the lines.  Oh, and if you see Jordan and I in the store (or more likely HEAR us) - just smile at us, and encourage the check-out line to move a little faster.  Just because we're different, we could use a little helping of your tolerance today.